Tuesday, November 29, 2005


Fifth after the Tenth Entry

So to day we met a new fifth!

We telecommunicated with our new partner, named Rsadssa, after receiving a tip from the bureau of missing, lost and newfound matting types. Rsadssa's group were victims of that meteor shower, did I mention it? A dozen of so rocks slammed onto our vast ocean-planet about four of your earth days past.

The explosions were of great intensity and unleashed giant compression waves in our liquid environment. Unfortunately Rsadssa's fivesome was hit with one of these hot compression waves ... Rsadssa barely survived, the poor thing looks like it has a bite taken off of it. The others are gone.

So tragic.

But now we can bring hope to our new companion and also fill the great hole in our own group.

Sunday, November 27, 2005


Fourteenth Entry

I once described my home planet. Did I ever mention our moon, Sohrenya?

Here is a nice picture I took from my last jaunt around our solar system.

Friday, November 25, 2005


Thanks for the Grub!

Just back from a trip to Earth -- visited some fellow Otonyans who are studying Earthling culture in America. For the Thanksgiving feast, we were guests at the home of an American Earthling. We ate so much that if we had stomachs, they would most certainly explode! The effect of tryptophan on us ooyots is just about the opposite of that on Earthlings. My friends and I were bouncing off the walls, while our Earthling friend nearly shook the neighborhood with his snores! We tried ever so hard to pull his face out of the mashed potatoes and put him to bed, but the combination of our pear-shaped bodies and the slickness from the gravy grease rendered it impossible. So we had to leave him there. I hope he didn't die of mashed potato asphyxia. Oh dear.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


Twelfth Entry

Recently a rather tall member of your species, who is educating himself in the art of tissue repair, asked me a question:

When you're dealing with an alien species where five individuals are involved in a replication event, I assume that the words he and she no longer apply? Are such pronouns still in use, or does one just not bother anymore?
That is true, we do not refer to each other as he or she. In some of our ancient languages we did have seperate pronouns for each mating type. When it came to multiple individuals instead of "they", we would use different words depending on the number and mating types found in a group.

In one ancient language, wswswtywtye, there were 3,453 different pronouns. To master such a language and its grammatical intricacies would take many years and several degrees at institutions for higher learning.

Eventually the whole thing became too complicated and language, for a time, was abandoned all together. Once language was reacquired, we rid our selves of pronouns and such silly artifacts. Today as we communicate through what you would call telepathy, grammar and other conventions are very different. In pure thought, communication somehow does not require these types of rules, and communication became much simpler, concise and precise. Philosophers now theorize why spoken language is clumsy and filled with obstacles and barriers, while our current mode of sharing ideas is effortless. I myself do not claim to understand it, but now that I write to you earthdwellers, I can fully understand the nature of traditional communication and all of its shortcomings.

Thursday, November 10, 2005


Eleventh Entry

I just spent the last few hours meditating. Unlike you earthlings, we Otonyans do not sleep, and meditation provides a way to reorganize our consciousness generating organ. Oh yes, you earthlings would call it a brain, but ours is very different. Our "brain" does not contain neurons, and our bodies are not made of cells. I would like to explain to you exactly how we are put together, but unfortunately, your earthling languages lack the appropriate vocabulary.

Pensaba lo explicar en una otra lengua, pero hay siempre problemas.

Alors, je peux seulement vous dire la meme chose, n'importe la facon de communiquer.

But you will never understand.

Monday, November 07, 2005


Tenth Entry

As previously promised, I shall now share with you insights into a great mystery of Otonya's past that our friends, the historians, shared with us.

Prior to visiting us, our friends journeyed on an expedition in the company of what you would call biologists to the great depths of the Otonyan sea. It is unknown just how deep it goes -- no one has ever reached the bottom and returned. As our friends and the biologists plunged deeper, they took samples of the sea and the fauna in it at every 100 meters. They traveled approximately 500 megameters (I think that's the proper term in earthling speak) deep, being careful to label their tubes with each appropriate depth. When they returned, they conducted a full battery of chemical tests on the samples, charting for various substances.

What they found was fascinating.

Their charts revealed that the further they plunged into the abyss, the higher the levels of three substances -- mynooth, ferticon and grapa -- were found in the tissues of the fauna. These three substances are liquid at ambient tempurature, but are known to solidify at very cold temperatures.

What does this all mean?

Sunday, November 06, 2005


Ninth Entry

Now you may ask why we Otonyans have no arms. This subject was recently brought up by our friends the historian fivesome (Nynnys, Lyrnas, Dyrvyn, Catralyn and Tysseri), who visited us about one earth week ago.

Well long ago, we Ooyots of Otonya, mastered what you would call genetic control of our own species. We wanted to rid ourselves of our species' abnormality, that five individuals, each having a separate mating (or sex) type, had to unite for several of your earth years to produce a viable offspring. We developed a fourteen step program to attempt to fix this so that we could reproduce clonally, in other words, without mating. We started to perform genetic experiments on ourselves, but certain individuals resented this tampering. War broke out between those that supported genetic change and those that did not. Many died. Soon one faction produced viruses that specifically infected the opposition and led to a quick death.

Unfortunately the virus mutated and soon the the terrible weapon we had created attacked every individual regardless of allegiance.

Instead of war between two sides, we now waged war
against our own demon.

Eventually virus resistant individuals appeared. But these individuals lacked appendages, and it was soon realized that the very lack of limbs was what made these ooyotes resistant to the virus. A mating program soon developed (what you earthlings have called eugenics) to breed these beneficial yet crippling genes to the surviving population. Eventually we defeated the virus but all us Ooyotes that survived were the offspring of limbless parents. We tried to regenerate limbs, but without success - all "re-limbed" individuals were consumed by the virus.

We now construct artificial limbs, and we regulate their operation through our "wireless/telepathic" technology. We have learned to live with what we have become. We became pears.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


Eighth Entry

Visit to Earth was great. You earthlings think that you are so smart. Fortunately the fact that I am the shape and size of a pear and that my vehicle for interplanetary travel is the size of one of your basketballs makes me virtually invisible to your ocular detection and to your radar devices. To visit the streets of Salem, I took a ride on top of a tall lady dressed up as a fruit vendor. People called her Miss Chiquita. She laughed and giggled and danced all night long. Eventually I discovered that she was actually a he, how playful you earthlings are!

Although you earthlings are blind to the small you do have a great ability to celebrate life - your Halloween was quite enjoyable.

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